Nov 1, 2012

The 8 Best Things To Potentially Happen To Star Wars

Yesterday, the news broke that Disney had purchased Lucasfilms for over $4 Billion, a massive purchase that seemingly came out of the blue. As with any type of Star Wars news, Star Wars fans freaked out, although it seemed relatively split on whether they were upset or happy. It's understandable for such a big purchase to be a little bit worrisome, but let me ease your troubled minds and help you assess the good news that could potentially come of this.

Hit the break for the 8 best things that could potentially happen in Star Wars' future.

8. The Worst Thing To Happen To Star Wars Is George Lucas

No matter how you look at it, George Lucas really f*cked up Star Wars. Despite Star Wars being the brainchild of Lucas, he's consistently proven that he really has no idea what the hell he is doing with the franchise, I would even go as far as to argue that even after Episode IV Lucas had jumped ship for crazy town. I could sit here and bitch about Midi-chlorians and Jar Jar Binks, but at that point I'd be beating a patch of plants risen from the grave of a dead horse.

The bottom line is with the less Lucas interaction Star Wars has, the better, look at Episode V and VI, believed by many (including myself) to be the best entries in the Star Wars universe. Both may have been written by Mr. Lucas but in the end they were developed by completely different people, which leads me into number 7.

7. Fresh Minds

In line with Number 8, the idea of having someone other than Lucas expanding the Star Wars universe sounds incredible. Star Wars Episode V and VI proved that the best Star Wars are the "Lucas-free" kind of Star Wars and the idea of an Episode VII directed by Sci-Fi mastermind Joss Wheadon or J.J. Abrams gets my underwear wet (a manly wet, mind you). While Lucas may still have some creative input on the direction of Star Wars, he's already vocally acknowledged that it's time for someone else to take the reigns. I couldn't agree more.

6. Kingdom Hearts: A New Hope

Alright, I admit this one is kind of a stretch, but I really don't give a sh*t because it needs to happen. When Disney purchased Marvel earlier in 2009 for around $4 billion (yes Disney, buy everything nerds like, why don't you?) the internet exploded. Almost instantaneously discussion began to emerge about the possibility of the Marvel universe colliding with Kingdom Hearts and while even further unlikely, the idea of Star Wars entering the franchise makes my brain explode.

Imagine this, Sora and group depart on their Gummy ship to the next Disney world where they're met by none other than Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, and the rest of the gang on Cloud City. Sh*t goes down where Sora and company must make their way through the galaxy as guests aboard the Millennium Falcon. Where's my paycheck Square Enix?

5. Marvel/Star Wars Crossovers

This is an obvious one, but would pretty damn amazing. Disney seems to be accumulating all things nerdy, so logically the next step would warrant a complete cross-over universe. I can't even attempt to describe the insanity a project like this would introduce, but it needs to happen.

4. Less George Lucas

Self explanatory.

3. New Movies

The best news to come out of the recent purchase is the announcement of a new film coming in 2015. Sure, Lucas would have eventually brought a new entry to the masses, but Disney is making sure it happens, and with a price tag of $4 Billion you can bet your ass they're going to try as hard as possible not to f*ck this one up.

2. Quality Control

George Lucas is a stubborn old prick and generally his movies aren't released unless they're made the way he wants. Despite George Lucas' belief that he is some type of Cinema god, his visual choice (a vomit pile of shoddy CGI), methods of storytelling (convince me that Star Wars isn't a clusterf*ck after the prequels), and his atrocious job of giving direction to his actors (here's a hint) leave a lot to be desired. With a new "overlord" to watch over the development of the Star Wars universe you can be your ass that there will be some quality control. While I can almost guarantee Disney is going to milk the Star Wars universe to hell and back after this recent acquisition, they won't be crashing it into the ground like Lucas anytime soon.

1. Motherf*cking Disney Land

Three words, Star Wars Land. BAM.

If you think I missed anything, please let us know in the comments!

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