Jan 27, 2011

15 WTF Frozen Foods

Digiorno recently announced their ridiculous Pizza+Cookies combination for the frozen aisle.  This led us to research the strangest, most wtf frozen food ideas thought up by food companies in the last few years.

Obama Fingers: 
Nothing like cashing in on popular people and trends with a lazy ass product like this.  I'd recommend Palin Yukon potatoes as an accompaniment to Obama Fingers.

Eggo Breakfast Pizza:
Eggo though the best way to start your day would be with a simulated 'breakfast' pizza. The toppings? Yogurt, granola and freeze dried berries. The result? A soggy mess.

More bizarre specimens after the jump!

Pickle Pops:
Oh for effs sake.  This is just disturbing and wrong.  Nothing like a nice sour load in your mouth on a hot summers day.

DiGiorno Pizza And Cookies:
This is what started the idea for this list.  What the eff Digiorno?  How lazy are people getting that they can't reach over 3 feet away to the frozen dessert aisle?  If you want a temporary depression cure in a box, go crazy.

Pancake & Sausage On A Stick:
Hung over from your pizza and cookie meal from the night before?  Well start your day right with the laziest concoction ever created.  Slouch on your ass and enjoy this artery clogging breakfast monstrosity.

Hot Pockets Sideshots:
Hockey pucks stuffed with gooey cheese and meat product.  This is the next step once you're too lazy to go get fast food from your local grease joint.

Pilsbury Pizza Pops:
Can't pick up that phone for pizza?  Well pop these f***ers into the toaster.

Breyers Bubble Gum Ice Cream:
If you want to simulate swallowing large loads of gum, this is the product for you.

Yummy Chicken Breast Rings:
Chicken breast and 'rings' should never be in the same sentence.

Frozen Sushi:
You can enjoy an hour or two wondering how the hell to prepare this.  Do you microwave it?  Or do you let it thaw till you can smell delicious freezerburned salmon?

Findus Crispy Pancakes:
Sounds delicious, but these are not God's pancakes.  An abomination.

Skyline Chili Spaghetti:
Cincinatti's finest chili spaghetti, now ready for your microwave.  Overcooked pasta never tasted so good.

Mister Brains 4 Pork Faggots:
Faggots: Faggots are traditionally made from pig's heart, liver and belly fat meat as well as other meat cut offs.  Basically an American hotdog in meatball form.  I'll pass, thanks. :1

Lowreys Microwaveable Pork Rinds:
Pork rinds are an acquired taste.  So what about popping pig skin in your microwave?  Sounds delicious, right?  Right?

Stouffers Welsh Rarebit:
A fancy name for toast covered in cheese.  Who thought this was a good idea?


  1. The person who wrote this article is picky as fuck... whats wrong with pancakes and sausage? Are you going to call corndogs an abomination next? Then the hotpockets and toaster calzones, how are those 'WTF' foods? Whats wrong with welsh rarebit? Its the cheese sauce that they're selling and nobody eats it on its own.

  2. Sounds like a fatty to me.

  3. when you read the box for "obama fingers" it's in an other language. still creepy though....